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  • Ashley Gray

Episode 69: Why Me?!


WHY ME?! This is the question that we ask ourselves constantly. It's the question is surfaces anytime something happens to us that we feel as though we don't deserve. I am forever asking this question because I consider myself a good person, so thing bad things come my way, I feel like I definitely need to question it. For you, you may be doing the best that you can, trying to be a good person, work hard, and BOOM! You're dealing with generation curses that literally had nothing to do with you.


Generational curses are habits, traditions, and choices that have been passed down from generation to generation. Generation curses are called that mainly because the things that were passed down were necessarily good. I have four generations of kidney failure in my family. My great-grandma dealt with it, then my grandma had it, and finally, my mom has kidney failure right now. So, when I found that out you can imagine that I was worried about my own health and well being. But it only made you become more cautious about my own kidney and striving to make sure that it doesn't happen to me. Back then, there weren't a lot of resources that could help with kidney issues back then, but now the ability to detect it early, and take charge is definitely there.


I remember asking, "Why do I have to deal with this illness that could come to me?" Then, it hit me, WHY NOT YOU? Now you're probably thinking, "What?" See, a lot of times asked "why me?" instead of "Why not me?" meaning you have the ability to be the first one to break the generational curses that have been passed that through your family. It's important that you understand that every generation before was given the same chance to choose how they handled it. Its alcoholism is something passed that, each member had a choice as to how to proceed with this as it approached them. I remember reading an article that talked about two brothers growing up. Both brothers watched their father drinking himself to death (literally). They experienced his behavior, they endured his abuse, and overall saw what alcohol did to their father. One brother said, "I never touched alcohol a day in my life because I saw what it did to my father." The other consumed alcohol exactly like his father. He said, "I drank because that's all I ever saw my father do." Two different results, same experience.


You may feel like this something that you cannot handle, whatever that thing is, but it's your turn to choose how you handle it. You can say, "This stops with me." Or add onto the generational curse. One of the reasons why I fight for my health is because I don't want the next generation to have to fight what I could have gotten rid of. I'm not saying it's easy, but you have to consider who's coming behind you. So, instead of saying "Why me?" let's change it up, and say, "Why NOT me?" You're strong, and you have greatness in you. You have too much going for you to get entangled in generation curses that nobody dealt with.


Here are some tips to help you concur generational curses:


  1. Find Out What It Is


How can you fight something if you don't know what it is, right? How can you obtain this information? Do your research. Ask your family members. A lot of times, you can discover what it is by simply looking around your family. For me, I asked a family member about my great grandparents and put the pieces together. Whatever you need to do to find out, do it. This isn't a little project to know about your family history. This is the key finding out what was a repeating setback for the generations that came before you, and it's a way to help you dodge a bullet.


2. Be Mindful Of It


Have you ever seen a SERIOUS recovering alcoholic just hanging out a bar? No? Why not? Because they know that them being in that environment, EVEN IF THEY DON'T TOUCH A DRINK can put them in a compromising position to try it. If something in your family is a generation, and you sometimes feel yourself leaning towards that, take that as a warning to avoid it. Of course, someone is saying, "That's excessive. That's doing way too much." That's totally your opinion, and you are free to go on with your own opinion. However, for the ones you strive to be the last one to deal with this, avoid it at all costs.


3. Think About Your Legacy

I read an article talking about Fredrick Douglas' descendants and how they got to quote one of his speeches. If you know Fredrick Douglas, he fought to make sure that his descendants never had to experience slavery and abuse because of the color of their skin. Generations before him fell victim to being slaves and dealing with harsh living and work conditions. Fredrick Dogulas' fought the generational curse and became a FREE black man. This allowed for his descendants to go on and not be enslaved. His freedom story wasn't easy, and something that was all laid out for him. He thought about experiencing a free life, as well as the lives that would come after him. Think about your legacy.


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